Parents are often challenged with balancing many roles—nurse, teacher, confidant, lion-tamer. Okay, maybe not the last one but I know sometimes it feels that way. You are also a competent member of working society and, in a sense, work two full time jobs. You navigate through these separate roles perfectly, balancing each on the end of your balancing pole in perfect harmony. Doesn’t that sound just like a Hallmark commercial? But it’s true! You were a pro and still can be, even amid these uncertain times. In the words of Dr. Ian Malcom, “life (uh) finds a way.” So, here are seven tips to get your balancing act back on track!
1. Structure. Schedule. Plan.
This one is a no brainer but bears emphasis. To paraphrase Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a household in possession of children need structure. Or something like that. At any rate, children need routine. Structure helps your children navigate new and complex situations, resist impulses, and lay the foundation for a successful future. Brainstorm ideas to bring structure to the mayhem. Set a schedule. Create new rules. Set a time for learning, create opportunities for your children to amuse themselves. It is, after all, the captain that helms the boat, not the crew.
2. Create Separate Work Areas.
Find a space within your home where you can be both focused on work and readily available for the needs of your family. Do the same for your munchkins. Somewhere separate but readily available. The availability of both of your workspaces will lower any anxiety that may build when you are out of the other’s sight. In time, these locations will elicit productive sentiments for both parties---an epicenter for faking it till you make it, essentially. The productive association of your pseudo office/classroom will help you all get some work done even with no motivation to do so.
3. Develop your quality time routine.
This goes back to the need for structure. Designate a time where your focus is strictly on each other—whether daily walks, kitchen help, time for arts & crafts—anything that you like to do together. This should be something you schedule as a break from work and something special you do together when the workday is done. Even before Shelter in Place, you did not sit in front of your computer uninterrupted eight hours a day and your children were not chained to their desks. Combine your breaks with family times and mitigate future interruptions while also giving your children something to look forward to.
4. Take Shifts.
Many of you are fortunate enough to have other adults in your household, whether a parent, significant other, or spouse. Perhaps you take the morning shift and they take the evenings. You’re on nap duty and they take snack time. There is no need to put everything all on one person; give someone else the opportunity to be a Rockstar.
5. Be Intentional and Strategic.
Wake up half an hour to an hour earlier than usual to complete those tasks your darling progeny would ordinarily be a distraction from. Utilize your quality time routine to also get some exercise in (and tucker out little Johnny in the process—look who now has more time to make some calls!). Meal prep snacks and lunch if need be on Sundays. This could even be a fun activity for you to do with your kids.
6. Stop fighting Technology.
The tablet doesn’t have to be your enemy. While yes it can be a great source of distraction, it can also be a great learning tool. Your kids already want to be glued to the screen, why not meet them in the middle with some fun and educational sites and apps? Maybe your child is in the dinosaur stage. See what kind of trouble they can get into on the Smithsonian website. Maybe they want to learn more about post-colonial cuisine. There’s a YouTube for that (which I may or may not have stumbled upon and binged). The possibilities are endless.
7. Cherish the Experience.
Make no mistake balancing your two full time jobs at once is a challenge but consider for a moment the gift that you have been given. You get to be there for your kids for moments you may have otherwise missed. There are milestones to be witnessed, conversations that would not have been had, comedic moments that would have been reserved for someone else. Recognize the moment that we are in; we are in the middle of a memory in the making. Yes, you and your family have encountered a great storm, but at least you are in the same boat. So, let go of the sails and embrace the chaos.
